Last night was probably not what I, nor anyone, suspected it would be.  Again, I don’t like being a conspiracy theorist, but last night certainly had the producer’s finger prints all over it.  Don’t get it twisted – both of these kids are super talented, and either would make a fine (and deserving) American Idol.  But if you look at the whole body of work, and you judge based on who has a better shot at real stardom, I think you have to vote Scotty.  But between Steven Tyler telling Lauren she won “because you’re prettier than he is” and the whole schtick with the doctor coming on stage, I was uncomfortable with the level of influence the show was trying to exert last night.

Maybe our politicians should do reality TV

122 million votes came in over night for the American Idol finale.   Now, who’s to say how many of those were one person voting 50 times (my guess? a lot) but still, it’s a bid of a sad commentary on American society that our singing competitions draw more interest than our governmental elections ever have.  I wonder what a Sarah Palin/Barack Obama duet of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” would do for 2012 voter turn out….

Top 13 are Born This Way

FINALE GROUP SING!  It’s so much bigger and better than….oh, check that, it’s still absolutely hideous.  On the upside – LOOK IT’S PIA TOSACANO, AHHHHHHHH!  Oh yeah, and it’s coming soon to every frickin town within 20 miles of you.

James Durbin + Judas Priest

The only thing I can assume from Jame’s costume (yes costume, not outfit) tonight is that immediately after Lauren/Scotty takes the confetti shower, he’s heading directly to an extremely gay biker bar for the evening.  Ridiculous leather get ups aside, it was kind of nice to see James in his element.  I really like that guy, and I really do hope he gets a record deal when the Idol tour is over.

You gotta be in it….to win it

Oh….my…..god.  I knew Randy said “in it to win it” a lot, but that little clip reel of every single occurrence this season was utterly mind blowing.  New theory – Randy is not a bad reality singing show judge, he’s a bad reality singing show judge robot.

Jacob Lusk + Kirk Franklin

Another utterly apropos pairing tonight.  Classic Jacob – he had more runs in this performance than your local high school track team, but seriously, Broadway producers, get on Jacob, he’s good for it.  And oh, hey, look Gladys Knight.  Mysteriously, I didn’t see a single Pip…..

Casey Abrams + Jack Black

When you combine these two with “Fat Bottomed Girls,” well that’s just finale magic right.  I can’t believe it took me this long to figure it out, but when you put them side by side, Jack Black is exactly who Casey Abrams needs to model his career after – well done, producers.  I enjoyed the Jack Black hiding behind the couch bit, but I think it would have been more fun if he was  hiding in Casey’s beard.

Lady Group Sing

Aw, you know, I kinda missed Naima.  Oh, yes, Tiny Asian Celine Dion aka Thia Megia, I missed her too.  And Haley….yeah, she was there.  Be honest – you totally saw that Beyonce grand entrance coming, right?  If you didn’t – well, you must press fast forward on your DVR during this show too often.  Seriously though, ladies, stop dancing, stop singing, take notes – THIS is how it’s done.  And does Beyonce just travel with a wind machine pointed at her at all times?

Haley + Tony Bennett

You know it’s an important TV event when they defrost Tony Bennett from his cryogenically frozen state to make an appearance.  Good for Haley, though – that’s a legitimately big ass superstar you got to sing with tonight.

Lil John + T(L)C

OK so for starters, Lil John is the new king of reality TV.  First Celebrity Apprentice and now the Idol finale – just try to stop that man.  Now, I don’t want to be mean (I know, I laughed too) or disrespectful to the dead, but are you still allowed to call yourself TLC when one of your letters is dead?  And beyond that, and again, not to be harsh, but who did T and C fuck to get on this show?  They haven’t been musically relevant in over a decade.  Oh yeah, pretty sure they weren’t singing live, either.

Scotty + Tim McGraw

Now that’s what I’m talking about.  If Scotty can go toe to toe with Tim McGraw, arguably the biggest male country singer this side of Kenny Chesney, I feel pretty confident in declaring him ready.  Here’s a really good idea – Scotty and Lauren get married, and they become the new Tim + Faith – takers?

Marc Anthony + J Lo

Hand to God, I had this performance on fast forward until I saw Jennifer Lopez appear amidst a flurry of feathered dancers and I had to rewind.  My Spanish isn’t really good enough to know what he was singing about, but any time J Lo is going to shake her ass that shamelessly, I’m there.  That guy must be great in bed, because when you look at him, then you look at her….

Male group sing

I had honestly completely forgotten about Stefano Langone and all the elicit, naughty things he did with Jennifer Lopez when no one was looking until this very moment in time.  Oh yeah, the Tom Jones medley?  Creepy – and then you just knew Tom Jones was going to show up and make it super creepy – and then he did.  I bet he’s sharing a limo back to the cryogenic freezing center with Tony Bennett.

Ford likes teachers

Oh clever!  Not only did the contestants get free Fords, but they gave free cars to Scotty and Lauren’s teachers – tricky!  I have to say, though – if my high school chorus teacher had been as hot as Scotty’s, I’d be rocking that stage too.

Gaga shows up this time

I will almost forgive Lady Gaga for her non-appearance during her mentor week because tonight she not only showed up, and sang live, but she wore a crazy chandelier on her face, and that is not easy to do.  As is usually the case with Gaga’s singles, I love this song.  It smacks a little bit of cheesy 80s pop rock, but I’m not so sure that’s a negative.  Also, what other performer could come on this show and get their own rock formation to sing on?

Lauren Alaina + Carrie Underwood

So anyone who didn’t know this duet was happening should have their frontal lobe examined, because you sir are daft in the head.  They’ve only been  making the comparison between these two ALL FRICKIN SEASON, and Carrie has always been very good to American Idol since taking the crown, so this was pretty damn obvious.  That said, I sure do like these two together.  Carrie Underwood looks SO HOT – damn her toothless hockey player husband.

More Beyonce

You might have gotten two slots on the finale, but you ain’t getting two spots in this blog, lady.

Behold the shit show that is Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark

So before we get to this performance of “Rise Above 1″ I’d like to review the absolute disaster that has been this show’s attempt to debut on Broadway.  This show was set to bow about a year ago – and it’s still not open.  They’ve basically replaced the entire cast, rewritten the script twice and lost the show’s original creator.  But Bono and the Edge, who wrote the music, are still around and showed up to sing with star Reeve Carney – pretty plum product placement, no?  I’m not sure I think comic books should be musicals, but this might an interesting change of pace for Broadway (if it ever opens, that is).

Steven Tyler sings Dream On

Yep, still got it.

And your American Idol is…..

Scotty “the body” McCreery.  Round of applause for you, America, because after screwing it up so many times this season, you got it right when it counted the most.  I thought it was a real nice, damn near genuine moment when Scotty (sort of) sang his finale song while hugging every member of his immediate family.  It wasn’t your best vocal of the season, Scotty, but I suppose it’s OK this time.  It’s great to see that winning American Idol meant as much to Scotty as I think it ought to, and I absolutely, unequivocally, 100% believe that Scotty has a very productive career in Nashville ahead of him.

…and thanks for the memories

I thought a lot about this today, but you are probably reading the last entry of Idol Ravings that you’re ever going to read.  I’ve had a lot of fun writing this blog and interacting with the original Idol crew (much love, you know who you are), but I think it’s run its course.  As life gets busier, I just don’t have the time to pay attention to the blog the way it deserves.  So with that, I want to say thank you to all of you who have come back every week to see my crazy Idol rants – it has been real.

- The good folks over at Entertainment Weekly think the producers pulled all the right puppet strings to crown Lauren Alaina

- Though perhaps not the indicator it once was (because online voting is now a reality), DialIdol.com is calling the race for Scotty McCreery

See you for the finale tonight!

A bit of a strange start this evening to what is usually an otherwise painfully overdone and ceremonious episode.  After both hopefuls were introduced, Seacrest and the show’s voice doctor went into an odd amount of detail about an apparent vocal chord strain Lauren suffered in rehearsals.  What say you, conspiracy theorists – thinly veiled attempt to stop the Scotty juggernaut, or just the show trying to clarify a whole lot of rumor?  To her credit, Lauren played it off as no big deal and said she’d be fine tonight.

So here is your set up – Round 1 is the hopefuls favorite song of the season.  Round 2 is a new bit with Idols picking for (potential) future Idols – in this case, Carrie Underwood picking for Lauren, George Strait for Scotty.  Round 3 will be each contestant’s would-be first single.

Wrap your mittens around your kittens kids, because it is finale time!

Scotty McCreery – “Gone” by Montgomery Gentry

Clad in his mildly rebellious leather jacket, Scotty went back to the good ol’ boy country well and brought  back the Montgomery Gentry ditty that many identified as his best performance of the season.  I think this is a very smart pick for Scotty to kick it off with, as we’ve clearly seen over the course of the season that the lighter, playful side of Scotty the Body plays better than soft, ballad Scotty.  The song also happens to dip right into that deep country tenor that has served this boy quite well this season.  Tonight’s performance was no different than the first time Scotty tackled this tune – and I think that’s just what he was looking for.  Scotty was cool, loose and smack in the middle of his comfort zone (where he’s been all year).  A good start for Scotty tonight.

Lauren Alaina, “Flat on the Floor” by Carrie Underwood

Boy I hope Carrie Underwood doesn’t pick one of her own songs for Lauren.  Right from jump street, I do not detect any signs of vocal fatigue, just a whole lot of big hair and a really shiny jacket.  Much like Scotty’s choice, this was a good pick for Lauren because I think she’s giving the people what they want (and expect).  I definitely spoke too soon, however, as the strained vocal became unfortunately apparent towards the middle of the song, especially when she tried to reach up into her falsetto, the notes were just not there and you could hear her struggling.  I feel absolutely terrible for Lauren – to get this far and run into that problem is shit luck – but again I give Lauren big ups, because she was up there tonight shaking her ass, smiling and having a good time and trying to win this competition.  I bet she was freaking out on the inside, but she never let us see it and that’s the mark of a true professional.

Round 1 – Advantage Scotty

Scotty McCreery, “Check Yes Or No” by George Strait

Boy that’s a bit of an ego stroke for George Strait, no?  Lucky for George, I really like this pick for Scotty.  This kind of country song is so full of those twang heavy verses that have propelled Scotty to this point, and he was all over those bad boys tonight.  I know it’s a rare thing for me to criticize the Body, but hang on to your banjos kids, because I thought Scotty really didn’t do the chorus of this tune any justice, especially when compared to the original.  Don’t get me wrong, it was a fine performance, and Scotty is certainly staying the course tonight, but you hope for a bit of that magic on finale night, and this was just OK considering it was America’s second to last chance to get a look at Scotty before they reach for their cell phones/laptops/contraband voting devices.

SIDEBAR:  Does anyone else feel like American Idol is on fast forward tonight?  Not a peep out of the judges?  (Perhaps I should be careful what I wish for, no?)  It seems odd to me that a show that has happily, for a decade now, milked 60 minutes per week out of a results show that oughta be about 15 minutes long would bull rush through it’s most important episode in an hour.

Lauren Alaina, “Maybe It Was Memphis” by Pam Tillis

Wow, who saw that choice coming?  I will say this for Round 2 – Lauren certainly is more fun to look at, all dressed up like a package under the Christmas tree.  I have only heard thing song once or twice before tonight, but I thought Lauren did a real nice job with it.  She managed to take it easy on her ailing vocal chords, but was still able to work in some of that vibrato I’ve enjoyed so much all season long, and I thought she sounded better than her Round 1 song.  It’s amazing to me that it took this long, but after so many weeks, Lauren finally looks like she feels comfortable on stage, and believes that she has a right to be here in the finale.  Better late than never?

Round 2 – Advantage Lauren

SIDEBAR:  Dammit, I knew I should have shut my stupid mouth about the judges!  The great panel weighed in and seemed to agree with my assessment that heading into the final round tonight, we’re neck and neck (or as neck and neck as we could be, given the massive head start Scotty had coming into tonight).

Taio Cruz singing some song America wrote with Coca-Cola

Uh, so we’re rushing through Scotty and Lauren trying to win the fucking show so Taio Cruz can share this disposable piece of pop music with us?  Oh this show makes me want to kick a puppy sometimes.  Bottom line, it seems pretty apparent that neither Taio Cruz nor America should be writing pop songs for a living – yikes.

Scotty McCreery, “I Love You This Big”

I don’t know what I liked more – the song, or the cleverly placed yet oddly impactful video reel that was behind Scotty the whole time.  So let’s call a spade a spade – this song was a huge piece of twangy, country cheddar – and it was perfect for Scotty and for this finale.  Does anyone remember “A Moment Like This?”  I’ll be the first to say it – I want my American Idol finale filled with cheesy goodness and dripping in syrupy ballads with a side of dreams come true.  This performance plays right into Scotty’s primary fan base of swooning teenage girls and cougars, and any time you see the swaybot arms going in the pit at the front of the stage, you know you’ve got a moment happening.  And as has been said 7,000 times tonight, Scotty was indeed in it to win it (ugh, I feel like I need a shower now).  Just a perfect first original song for Scotty tonight.  As Jimmy Iovine put it, I see no reason why confetti shouldn’t fall on Scotty tomorrow night.

Lauren Alaina, “Like My Mother Does”

Oh man, I know I’ve said it before, but is Jimmy Iovine a freaking genius or what?  This is a perfect song for Lauren, and just like Scotty’s single, it’s got cheesy goodness from start to finish (note swaybot arms in full swing – now how do I know who won?)  As much as I liked this as Lauren’s first single, I couldn’t help but feel like there was something a bit strange about this performance, almost like it was the musical version of a concession speech on election night.  I don’t know if it was the spotty vocal or the sort of somber approach that Lauren brought to the performance, but I was not feeling the electricity from her on this final moment.  But that mom hug at the end (followed by Lauren’s mom absolutely losing her shit in the audience)  was the stuff that Idol dreams are made of, and whatever happens tomorrow night, you have to say that Lauren left it all out there on the stage tonight.

Round 3 – Despite what the judges thought, I’ll call it a draw.

So the all important question my friends – who is the Season 10 American Idol?  I will say this for Lauren Alaina – she definitely had the bigger, and more memorable, Idol moment in tonight’s finale, and she sounded gorgeous, despite the little hiccups.  With that said, I think Lauren would have needed an epic, one-for-the-ages kind of final to overcome the lead that I suspect Scotty came into the finale with, and I don’t think she did that here tonight.  I don’t disagree with the judges that this is a tight race, and while I wouldn’t fall over if Lauren won tomorrow night, I gotta say that….

2010 American Idol prediction: Scotty McCreery

I took Scotty weeks ago, and I’m staying put on that call tonight.  I won’t be at all disappointed to see either of these kids take it home tomorrow night (when the friggin results show is 2 hours long – go figure).  Keep it here kids, we are almost there!

The Idols go home

I am nearly positive that I’ve mentioned this before, but this bit just doesn’t do it for me.  Don’t get me wrong – I am sure it’s a thrill for the hopefuls – who wouldn’t want to go back to their hometown and be a rock star?  Actually, come to think of it, I arrived at my high school via screaming parade everyday, so this isn’t all that strange… But seriously, how long are the Chicago suburbs going to be observing May 14 as Haley Reinhart Day?

I’ll tell you this much, though – when I win American Idol (Mikey will have to write the blog and always say nice things about me), I am definitely going back to Genuardi’s to stand on a cash register to the screams of my adoring public.  The whole Josh Turner surprising Scotty during his performance of a Josh Turner song was a nice touch, though.

Lauren’s hometown footage, while a bit on the annoying side, was actually a pleasant reminder that this girl is only 16 years old, and that’s alright.  And oh, man, May 14 is ALSO Lauren Alaina day in Georgia- ain’t that just peachy?  Seeing Lauren try to bring some sunshine and awareness to the storm ravaged south was a very nice moment.

Il Vollo

Did you know the Jonas Brothers could sing in Italian?  Oh, that’s not them….I do not know who or what an Il Vollo is, and I don’t care to.  It was one thing in seasons past when we had to sit through Il Divo because Simon Cowell was responsible for creating the group – but what the hell is this?  Unless Steven Tyler is dabbling in the Italian pop scene, someone please get this crap off my TV.

Nicole Scherzinger + 50 Cent

Hold up, where are the other Pussycat Dolls?  You gotta hand it to Nicole Scherzinger – for a chick that got discovered as part of the creation of a reality TV show girl band, she sure is getting the most out of those 15 minutes.  This song, however, is AWFUL and Nicole is not exactly what you might call a “good” singer.  Oh but hey, 50 Cent is still doing “music” when he isn’t selling delicious, delicious Vitamin Water, so that’s awesome, right?  Yeah OK, moving on.

The finale will be….

Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina!  GOOD LOOKING OUT AMERICA!  I have been trying to get rid of Haley for weeks and at long last, the dream is over for the Growler.  I give Haley a ton of credit for sticking to her guns throughout the entire competition, and she has got a set of pipes on her, but when you put her next to the likes of Scotty and Lauren (and James…and Pia…) she doesn’t measure up for me.  She makes the most of what she’s got, but I am glad to see two very talented, very young, very country hopefuls go at it in the finale next week.  I can truly say that I will be happy with whoever takes it home next week, and it’s been a lot of years since I was able to say that (David vs. David Season 7).

Just one more week, and two more blog entries and then we’re all headed for the Jersey Shore for Memorial Day my friends.  You better keep it right here, next week, when the performance show is TUESDAY (not Wednesday).  Goodnight!

As assumed – we are on for the traditional final 3 set up – one contestant choice, one Jimmy Iovine choice and one judges choice.  And for the first round, the producers ponied up and brought in none other than Beyonce to guide the wee children, and well, that’s tough to argue with.

You all know the deal, so I won’t waste too much time with the preamble – let’s dive in.

Scotty McCreery, “Amazed” by Lonestar

And here I really thought Scotty would go with a jazz number for this round…but instead he went with a very well known, very popular mainstream country song.  This choice has “swoon alert” all over it, and I don’t doubt that Scotty knew what he was doing there.  And yet, as painfully predictable as this song choice was, Scotty went ahead and squeezed every ounce of life out of that bad boy to a standing ovation.  Beyonce was not wrong when she pointed out that Scotty may have saved some tricks to earn a spot in the finale – seriously though, where has that upper register been all season?  He laid out a really solid vocal, and even tossed in that light version of a power note at the end.  Throw in that denim jacket and the flannel shirt, and I have no doubt in my mind that Scotty was trying to fire a shot across the bow in tonight’s first performance.

Lauren Alaina, “Wild One” by Faith Hill

So uh, does anyone else think Lauren looks a bit like a very fashionable oompa loompa this evening?  But oh, Lauren, what the hell was this song choice darlin?  You’re like the mayor of playing it safe-ville right now and we, your voting public, are bored!  Lauren has dabbled (and I do mean dabbled) in this very modern, light country genre before and the results have always been tepid, and tonight was no great improvement.  The vocal was proficient, but she didn’t touch that melody or the arrangement, so where did that really get her tonight?  And considering this definitely got kind of screamy in spots, I don’t love how Lauren started off tonight.  Performance #1 was, I fear, a further indictment of both Lauren’s maturity and the fact that she clearly has no idea what kind of artist she wants to be.  Judges were kind, I thought – hopefully she’ll pick it back up in Rounds #2 and #3.

Haley Reinhart, “What Is and What Should Never Be” by Led Zeppelin

So, big ups for the song choice, which is bold (if not a little stupid at this point.)  But retract those bonus points immediately for putting your Dad on stage playing the guitar with you in this performance – I am so over the schtick at this point in the competition, and that has cheesy bit all over it – no thank you.  But you have to give it Haley, she ain’t pandering to you, me or anyone else, and clearly, there’s a little something to that.  I do think this song choice was genuine Haley – precisely what you’d get at a Haley concert or on her album.  With that said, the problem therein is that it becomes all too quickly self indulgent, which this performance did.  The vocal was fine, despite being quite labored at the end of the performance.  The post-judging mugging she was doing for the audience was unnecessary, however.

Scotty McCreery, “Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not” by Thompson Square

Another flannel shirt, another knock down performance for Scotty the Body (damn you, Seacrest.)  I think we all knew that Jimmy Iovine was going to pick a country song, but I wondered whether he’d go old school or stay a little more modern.  Well, he stayed all the way modern with a song that is quite literally near the top of the country singles chart at this very moment, not to mention all over country radio.  But I think Jimmy did him a big favor tonight, because even though Scotty has a throwback, classic country singing voice, he can definitely be relevant and contemporary on today’s country music scene.  The vocal wasn’t perfect, but it was close enough, and the song gave him a chance to dance around with his guitar, be a little less serious and still flirt with America through the lyrics.  And I’m even going to forgive the return of Scotty’s trademark crazy eyes.  Two very solid rounds so far tonight for Scotty.

Lauren Alaina, “If I Die Young” by the Band Perry

Hmmn, another interesting yet quietly brilliant song choice by Jimmy Iovine.  I tell you what though, this was light years ahead of her first performance – easily my favorite showcase of the night.  For starters, same as he did with Scotty, Jimmy put Lauren in a situation to show that she can (and does) belong in the contemporary country world, and as predicted, this song was all sorts of in Lauren’s wheelhouse.  Not only did she sound fantastic on this one, but I think she felt so comfortable with the choice, she actually seemed to (at long last) relax and just sing – and it was beautiful.  As Jennifer pointed out, she got a little swept up towards the end of the performance, but America will eat that shit up because it’s honest.  Lauren is making a move kids, so look out!

Haley Reinhart, “Rhiannon” by Fleetwood Mac

Seriously, has Haley had the best stage set ups this season or what?  The whole foggy, wind in her hair cliche tonight was very Stevie Nicks.  The performance, and the vocal, were not.  I understand why Jimmy picked this song for Haley, and I don’t think it was a terrible choice, but Stevie Nicks has a cannon for a singing voice, and as strong as Haley is vocally, that’s a lot to match up with on Final 3 night.  I really liked the intro with just Haley and the piano – I thought she had it all going on at that point, and it was even a tiny bit Stevie-esque.  But that’s exactly where I would have left the tempo, because once it picked up, Haley seemed to get a little lost in the song and the vocal wandered off a bit on her at moments.  She struggled to hit some of the bigger notes at the end, but this was another very strong showing for Haley.

SIDEBAR:  These producers better find a way to keep Jimmy Iovine on board next season.  The man has been a welcomed breath of fresh, HONEST air this season and without Simon, the show so sorely needs it.

Scotty McCreery, “She Believes In Me” by Kenny Rogers

Ah yes, the tender side of Scotty.  I had a feeling it would be making an appearance at some point tonight – and BLAM!  I mean, do y’all really want to me to go on about Scotty any more this season?  I’m pretty sure the cat’s outta the bag – I’m a fan.  This was a great choice for a few reasons, though.  For starters, it was the country throwback that I have always enjoyed hearing Scotty tackle.  But more importantly, I think was a real challenge for Scotty – this song is not as vocally simple as the songs he usually picks for himself – there are big, soaring notes all over that bad boy, which is not something he has traditionally excelled at.  But of course, Scotty being Scotty, he kicked that song’s ass all over the stage and left nothing to be wondered about his shot at the finale.  If there is any justice in this world, he will be there next week.

Lauren Alaina, “I Hope You Dance” by LeeAnn Womack

So I guess that the judges (and Jimmy) are telling us tonight is that they think Lauren is a country star in the making.  Interesting, because I never assumed that Lauren would go in that direction, despite her song choice leanings along the way.  For starters, she looked absolutely beautiful in her prom dress, and while I don’t hate the song choice, it’s just SUCH a sappy song.  It has a very Kelly Clarkson “A Moment Like This” feel to it, and while that isn’t a dream killer, it just all felt very vanilla to me.  I thought Lauren sang the hell out of the song she was given, but I worry that the judges did not help her out with this one.  Pleasantly though, Lauren did seem to retain that little boost of confidence she picked up in her first performance, and if she doesn’t make it to the finale, Lauren is not going to have anything to be ashamed of at all.

Haley Reinhart, “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette

What did I tell you about being wary of the judge’s sabotage song choice!!  Now before you go accusing me of being a crazy blogger, hear me out on this one.  To begin with, this is not a singer’s song.  That isn’t to say that Alanis isn’t a great singer, but this song is about being angry and rageful, pure and simple.  You are supposed to scream, not sing, and I fear that for Haley, this wasn’t the touchdown she was looking for at the end of the game.  Consider also that this song has words in it that you can’t sing on FOX, and the fact that it’s not exactly a song that is known (or friendly) to the all important younger demo, and I can’t help but wonder if the judges weren’t curious to see if Haley could dodge that bullet.  She didn’t do herself any favors with her performance, unfortunately.  Let’s pretend that she didn’t forget a big chunk of the lyrics in the middle (even though she sure did) but the vocal was a classic Haley growlfest.

(Not So) Bold Prediction #1 – You will see Scotty McCreery in the finale next week.

Bold Prediction #2 – There will be a female with Scotty in that finale.

I am honestly not sure who’s going to make it – maybe Scotty doesn’t make it, and it’s ladies night next week.  That would be, you know, wrong, but it’s entirely possible.  If you had asked coming into tonight, I would have gone with Haley to make it, but Lauren really laid it out there tonight, and now I’m not so sure.  Let’s all find out together, right here, tomorrow night, mmmmk?

3 x 3

As is customary, each hopeful will get not one, not two, but three chances to win your votes on tomorrow’s live performance show.  Though not officially announced, it is assumed that tradition will prevail and each contestant will sing one song of their own choosing, one the judges choose, and one selected by the presiding mentor (in this case, Jimmy Iovine).  So what does that mean?  Well, it’s a bit of a mixed bag.  I’ve been very impressed by Jimmy Iovine this season – the man clearly gets it, and I am not the least bit worried about his song selections.  The hopefuls, when left to their own devices, have been hit or miss (though I’d worry most about Haley in that regard, as her early Top 10 choices were a disaster). 

And the judges choice, well that’s a total wild card.  Remember when poor, poor Season 7 Top 3 hopeful Syesha Mercado got the shaft when her judges choice song was “Hit Me Up” – the theme from the animated penguin flick Happy Feet?

You can’t help but wonder if the judges/producers don’t try to sway the finale pairing with this song pick each season.  Season 7, for example, was all about the Davids (Cook & Archuleta), and many viewers turned an appropriately wary eye towards poor Syesha’s song that evening.  Keep an eye on this tomorrow – we might get a good idea of who the producers want in the showdown next week.

Speaking of conspiracy theories…

Have you noticed a theme with Haley lately?  She gets absolutely chopped apart by the judges after her first performance, and they build her back up like the pyramids at Giza after her second go-round, creating this air of an underdog.  But is Haley really an underdog, or do the producers just smell a storyline they like?  I realize my own bias here, as I believe Haley should have been gone weeks ago, but you can’t help but see a pattern forming there.

So the big question – can Haley actually win this thing?  If you had asked me weeks ago, I would have asked you what pills you were taking, and where I could get some of my own.  But if you look at the results objectively (ew), I cannot deny Haley’s resiliency.  She has formed some connection with the viewers and it is really paying off here in the late rounds.

The James factor

Another interesting plotline to follow in the final weeks of the show is how the voting shifts when a fan favorite exits.  James was an easy fan favorite, and you have to assume that some of his fans will continue to be engaged with the show and voting on the outcome – so where do those votes land?  It’s a toss-up, if you ask me, because as the rocker, there is no one else even remotely like James remaining.  You could assume that whatever teenage girl vote James was pulling might fall to Scotty, but I don’t think that’s a significant contingent at this point.

See you all tomorrow night for the trio throw down.

I don’t have a strong inkling for who’s getting das boot here in less than 60 minutes, but I have a strange feeling that I’m not going to be too pleased with the results.  It’s mostly inevitable, though, when there are only 4 singers left, someone’s going to get their feelings hurt.  So let’s find out who it is!

The Stools are Golden

Whoa, hold up, now the stools are no longer of Doom, and are in fact where you want to be tonight?  It’s all too much to comprehend – mind blown.

Holey moley

You kids remember what I told you right?  When Seacrest intro’s a bit from the side stage…. that’s right, this ain’t live.  And apparently, Usher couldn’t even show up for his duet with Enrique Iglesias – how rude.  This song must be new, as I do not recognize it – and then all of a sudden I’m listening to “I Like It.”  I admit, I have this song on my workout mix – and that’s about all I’m admitting to.

Sparks-le motion

That was some production value, eh?  Jordin Sparks has certainly grown up since the last time she was on this stage, and in case you missed the point of the song, she’s a woman.  Both Jordin and this song had a very Beyonce thing going on – not that I think anyone would mind that.  A decent song (maybe another shame pick for the workout mix?)  I like Jordin Sparks, even if I was in camp Blake that season.

Steven Tyler’s new song

I’d say don’t quit your day job, but your day job is judging American Idol, and as I noted last night, you suck at it!  So I’m in a bit of a pickle here.  Listen, Steven Tyler is a rock legend, I would never contend otherwise.  But when you take away the rest of the Aerosmith….yeah.

Where the hell was that Lady Gaga performance?

Note to the producers – showing me footage of the contestants watching a Lady Gaga concert video on a TV screen does NOT count as a Lady Gaga performance.  That’s some bullshit, right there.

Another one bites the dust

What the fuck is America’s deal this season?  I hate to be the “I told you so” blogger but well…no I don’t, and I told you so.  James Durbin totally just got Chris Daughtry’d – and you know, I think that’s okay.  Don’t get it twisted – James is far most deserving than Haley, and she should be going home tonight, but as you’ll recall, Daughtry got the last laugh on his season, and I think James is entirely capable of pulling that same trick.  He’s a talented dude, he will get signed and he will probably make hit records.

And Haley, shit, she’s like herpes – she.never.goes.away.  How is it that at one point, the females were dropping like flies, and now it’s a Final 3 with Scotty plus two ladies.  I’d love to tell you how this one is going to turn out, readers, but clearly I don’t have a clue.

See you next week!

Tonight, another new theme (for half the show, anyhow) from a very old catalog- the songbook of Leiber & Stoller.  If you didn’t catch my last entry, here is the Cliff Note version – you might not know that you know the songs of Leiber & Stoller, but you do – “Jailhouse Rock,” “Stand By Me,” etc.  For the inspiration songs (a theme previously reserved for Idol Gives Back night), who knows what we might get, as you could make a case for just about anything being inspirational – case in point, would it shock you to learn that Scotty finds “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy” inspirational?  Yep, me either.

And on with the show we go.

James Durbin, “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey

Once again, to reiterate, James = song choice genius.  Because he picked a Journey song?  No, because he picked that Journey song.  For starters, who hasn’t sung this song at the top of their lungs in a dirty bar on 80s night?  (If you haven’t, you should try it, very entertaining.)  But by picking this song, James gets insta-credit with the folks who already enjoy voting for him, because whenever people hear this song, they don’t pay attention, as they’re too busy singing along themselves.  Then it doesn’t matter how James sounded, because all you remember is how you sounded and how much fun it was to do.  And for James, that might have been a real good thing, because this performance was  not Jame’s best effort.  It was capable, but the vocal was nothing special, and it didn’t showcase anything from James we haven’t seen.  I suspect it won’t matter much, though.  This was a little slice of job well done.  Oh, and Randy?  I realize you may have played with Journey at some point, but that does NOT make them one of the greatest rock bands of all time – get a clue, pal.

Haley Reinhart, “The Earth Song” by Michael Jackson

You gotta give it to Haley, that girl does not back down from a fight.  Michael Jackson – that’s some big lady balls right there, amigo.  The artist choice was good, but the song choice – that needed work.  I was never a fan of this song when Michael did it, so I’m certainly not digging it from Haley tonight.  The chorus sliding in on the giant stairs was a nice production touch, though.  Haley came off flat from the first note, and in addition to the song not showcasing anything that people (allegedly, apparently) love about Haley, the growl was so unnecessarily heavy throughout the whole second half.  I genuinely believe that Haley is inspired by this song, but it didn’t do her any favors tonight and this is definitely a swing and a miss.  I was pleasantly surprised that Jennifer quite rightly pointed out to Haley that this was a misstep on her part.  And seriously, Haley, try to control your stank face when the judges give you any actual constructive criticism, mmmk?  And don’t talk back – we don’t need to hear what you thought, that is not what people pay for, sweetie.  And last but certainly not least – who did you hair tonight, Marie Antoinette?

SIDEBAR:  Steven Tyler, if you want to come back next season, I am going to require you to attend the Simon Cowell School for Reality Judging, because dude, you SUCK AT IT.  I love the flavor that Steven and his unpredictable behavior bring to that panel, but his absolute refusal to give actual criticism is maddening.

Scotty McCreery, “Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning” by Alan Jackson

Oh look at Scotty, trying to one up James in the song choice department.  I think you have to give this one to Scotty the Body (creepy that Seacrest is the only one who calls him that….) because this one was a home run.  Let’s recap – Scotty picked a country tune by one of the good ol’ boys, who has a voice that matches his perfectly, with a 9/11 patriotic theme a week after a U.S. Navy SEAL team finally found and killed Osama Bin Laden.  Timing, as they say, is everything, and this was just good timing.  The arrangement was perfect – just Scotty, a stool, a guitar and one lone violinist in front of him on the stage.  The vocal, per the usual, was pitch perfect and had just enough country twang for my liking.  This was textbook Scotty – well known country song, great vocal and a simple, understated performance.  And that last note with the respectful yet come-hither glance?  Oh America, I dare you not to make this kid the next American Idol – I DARE YOU.

Lauren Alaina, “Anyway” by Martina McBride

Here is my concern – typically with these shows, and American Idol in particular, there’s only enough votes for one “genre” singer per season.  Safe to say that Scotty’s got that country vote locked down, so when Lauren’s song choices tend that way, I get a little nervous that she might be mining a dry well.  That said, this was a very nice performance for her, and even though she still looked like someone had nailed her feet to the stage in front of the microphone, I felt Lauren actually let go a little bit.  She hit all the big notes and had very few trouble spots throughout, and not unlike Scotty, she found a song that could be made immediately relevant and easy to relate to.  Plus, good goddam, Lauren was glammed out tonight wasn’t she?  I think I got the vapors.

SIDEBAR #2:  This is not a boxing match.  There are no rounds, there was no winner, and please stop filling up my 90 minutes with this crap.

Haley Reinhart, “I (Who Have Nothing)” originally by Ben E. King

Ah, there’s that song choice thing again.  Stop me if you’ve heard this one, but it is dangerous territory to tread where former Idol greats have already been, and in case you’d forgotten, Jordin Sparks laid an absolute smack down on this song in her season.  Here’s the other problem – Haley, who is already prone to the stage dramatics, picked the most dramatic song on Earth.  Good news – the vocal was wildly improved from her first performance tonight, and Haley was once again the benefactor of some great staging with the whole orchestra.  The performance fell apart through the middle, with Haley getting lost in the orchestration, but she picked it up nicely at the end and went for the drama where it counts the most.  Shock of shocks, she gets the standing ovation and the oral fellatio from the judges.  Was it pretty good?  Yeah.  Does it pale in comparison to what Jordin Sparks did in her season?  Yes it does.

Scotty McCreery, “Young Blood” by the Coasters

So, not Elvis?  Are you sure?  I’ll wait….okay fine, the Coasters it is.  So we’ve seen the softer side of Scotty before, but tonight, I think we got introduced to the lighter side of Scotty McCreery, and I say job well done.  It’s a bit of an odd song choice, although I applaud him for going off the beaten path a little bit, especially when said path was littered with obvious Elvis tunes for him to tackle.  Not surprisingly, I really liked it.  He came out, had fun, laid down a good vocal and tried to showcase everything he can be as a performer.  I suspect the folks that vote for Scotty will love what he did tonight, and even though he has SUPER creepy eyes going on throughout that entire performance, this was a good note for him tonight.  I sometimes forget that Scotty is a teenager, but clearly he hasn’t, and I bet 13 yr old girls didn’t forget either.

SIDEBAR #3:  I am freaking loving Lady Gaga as a mentor.  Admittedly, I did not know what to expect since she’s just a wee bit out there, but she is really pushing the hopefuls tonight.  And it was worth the price of admission just to see how physically uncomfortable she makes Scotty.

Lauren Alaina, “Trouble” by Elvis Presley

Oh, there’s that Elvis song I was looking for – thanks Lauren.  This is an interesting song choice, since it’s clearly an Elvis classic, but one of the lesser known ones.  And then BLAM – sassy ass, sexy minx, gold lame Lauren kicked the door in the stomped her 16 yr old ass all over that stage.  It’s like Lauren was storing up all her sass and personality that was missing from performance #1 and she injected it right into this one right here.  This was, far and away, the smoothest and most comfortable Lauren has ever looked on the Idol stage, and not a minute too soon.  The vocal was really strong for most of the song, though some of those notes at the very end definitely labored a bit.  Overall though, a super needed change of pace for Lauren, and it might just be enough to get her to the Top 3 next week.

James Durbin, “Love Potion No. 9″ originally by The Clovers

So, was anyone else buying this rock version of “Love Potion No. 9″ tonight?  Yeah, me either.  I really like James – you know this.  And I didn’t even mind this song choice (though it wasn’t one of his better picks), but to just lay a stereotypical rock lick over a song that clearly didn’t need one just seems an odd way to go.  Exhibit A: why was there a gratuitous guitar solo in the middle of that performance?  I have a theory – I think James wanted to get back to his rocker, whaling ways and he saw an opportunity with this performance.  But the truth is, the way he tackled the arrangement, it could have been any song.  You just layer on an electric guitar or three, crank up the bass and go to town.  It wasn’t a clunker, but I’d never throw $1.29 at this on iTunes.  And, uh, did Randy just try to throw a sports metaphor at America?  Oh my, no.

So who’s it going to be?  I have absolutely no idea.  But here’s what I do know – Lady Gaga will perform, and that shit is always entertaining.  Plus, Jordin Sparks and Enrique Iglesias.  Keep it here people, it’s about to get real tomorrow night!

A clear division

With just 4 people left standing, I can’t help but notice that there is a pretty big split amongst the remaining hopefuls.  In one corner, you’ve got James and Scotty.  I’m not saying that these two are a mortal lock for the finale, but you have to consider that any other outcome at this point would be a major upset for either Haley or Lauren.  Speaking of the ladies, both are extremely talented but I wonder if they have the kind of fan support that buoys the fellas.  The bad news for Haley is that Lauren’s first brush with the bottom last week might have her fans voting en mass this week, which would theoritcally leave Haley as the odd man out.  But then, that’s why they call them theories, eh?

Yet another new (old) theme night

It seems like maybe the producers of American Idol were indeed listening when I petitioned for new themes, they just saved them all for the end of the season.  This week, the hopefuls tackle the American song book of Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller?  I know what you’re thinking – who the hell are Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller?  I have all of your backs on this one.  You definitely know the songs of Leiber & Stoller, you probably just didn’t realize the same duo was behind them all.  Take a look at some of the notables:

- “There Goes My Baby” – by the Drifters

- “Hound Dog” & “Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis Presley

- “Smokey Joe’s Cafe” by The Coasters

- “Stand By Me” by Ben E. King

- “Is That All There Is” by Peggy Lee

I’m not clear on if both songs by each contestant will come out of this catalog, but there is certainly enough material there for 8 songs tonight.

A Scotty Conspiracy?

In addition to the songs listed above, Leiber & Stoller wrote a number of other hits for Elvis Presley.  If I were a conspiracy theorist (IF), I’m sure I would notice that it seems a weeeee bit convenient that the producers selected a theme that seems to fit young Scotty like a glove.  (It ain’t too bad for Haley, either.)  You know, if I was a conspiracy theorist. 

Everyone Go Gaga

At the other end of the music spectrum from tonight’s theme, Lady Gaga will take over the role of mentor tonight for the hopefuls.  I love this pick.  Lady Gaga is a monster (pun intended) and has been since “Just Dance” hit the radio two years back.  Everything that woman touches turns into a giant pile of money, and regardless of how you feel about her music and her inclination to wear dinner, you have to respect that she is absolutely, unapologetically doing shit the way she wants to do it.  I will be very interested to see how she helps these young talents translate a bit of that Gaga magic on stage tonight.

Check back here tonight to see who managed to be a little monster, and who just came up little.

Group Sing

Uh huh, still awful.

Chef Idol?

So then, I guess we can safely assume that Hell’s Kitchen films on the studio lot next to American Idol?  I don’t have an issue with any promo where someone calls Haley out on being pitchy – that is just good TV.  So Lauren and Jacob can cook, and everyone else needs to keep their day job. 

Lady Antebellum & their new single “Just A Kiss”

The good news is that no one from Lady Antebellum appears to have any arm/ligament damage from carrying around the freaking pile of Grammy Awards they won a few months ago.  And they’re back, with new music – woohoo!  Definitely not as catchy as “Need You Now” but that was going to be hard to top, and this still has hit single written all over it.  Maybe they can open for Scotty when he tours after Idol…. (alright I’m 90% kidding).

Singing judges

I have an extreme bias towards liking this song, because I ran my first 5K last week, and this song was the only thing that kept me from lying down on the side of the road and quitting.  Never let it be said that J Lo has lost a step, as clearly, the booty is still rockin.  She looks good, she sounds great, and the performance came with a free laser show – when has that ever been a bad thing?  But really, dawg, yo – where the hell has that magical elevator platform been all season?!?!   I will need to see more of that, please.

The results

Well I definitely don’t agree, but I am also not the least bit surprised to see Jacob and Lauren hanging out in the Bottom 2.  Quite rightly, it was Jacob that goes home tonight, and as a shock to no one, this is OK with me.  I have come to respect Jacob’s talent, but he is simply not in the same class as James and Scotty. 

So is Lauren doomed to a Top 4 exit, or can she shake up the order of things and send a surprise hopeful next week?  I feel like I mention him a lot in this blog, but Chris Daughtry went home 4th too, as a front runner, and no one saw that coming, so next week could be real interesting.  See you all next week!